Pay Attention

I set out to write a short note on how I feel my attention span is diminishing and in the process switched to read the news, checked my facebook and played with a bit of blue tack on the desk. It is as if my brain is no longer content with fulfilling one task before another request is engaged - and soon another and another - until I have a screen full of open windows and a desk with a cup of coffee and a Venus De Milo perfectly moulded out of blue tack. Soon it is a ball of blue tack again. What the fuck has gone wrong here?

The stimulus that we are exposed to compared to even a decade ago has grown exponentially. We can't even content ourselves with listening to a predefined order of music. This is not only killing the music album but is a manifestation of the problem itself. As evil as this is, there is an even darker side to the phenomenon.

The media have reacted to our short wired brains to further exacerbate the problem by distilling the news to fit in that 3 second flash in which our attention can be interrupted from the very last thing we were thinking. This disturbs me as much of the news is complex issues. Our opinion is formed by a headline about a subject we know nothing about. It is with this ease of manipulation that tabloid newspapers can effectively spirit up a lynch mob and send them out to deal the fair and just beating deserved.
At least witches had trials.

I See Signs All The Time

If I am going to print a sign I'm going to have it proof read. This one is subtle and actually took my mind working all at once to figure out what was wrong. In the process I pissed and shat myself (to access the prefrontal cortex I have to bypass the cingulate gyrus which controls my bladder function). It's like a brain barf in other words. Yes, -20% off is a double negative implying that I have to pay a fifth more. Almost as fun as the Aroma Coffee sign in Edinburgh which read 'You're cup of coffee' implying that I was a cup of coffee. Genius.

Reviewing Reviews

It's review time at work again. Time to back fill another set of criteria retrospectively. If you're unfamiliar with large corporate management ideology it operates on merit based rewards, matching the company goals to that of your own, making objectives and reporting on them about this time every year. My ass in other words. A whole department and degree subject has grown around the process. The process of monitoring progress. What was wrong with sticky gold stars? I'm sure we all fit into the Gaussian distribution, but what says +3sigma like a chart full of gold stars.

So I'm stuck with providing examples of how I have been Customer Orientated or contributed to Team Synergy. Yes, Team Synergy. It's become epidemic. Every reasonably sized organisation has bought in these people who justify their jobs by creating ever more inappropriate forms for me to fill in. There is no need. I will make your form.

Is he/she a Great Bunch Of Lads? Yes/No
[Delete as appropriate]

Yes, and receive an inflation based pay rise.
No, fuck all.