Recycling Romance

It has now been over two years since we began recycling our flat-hold waste – everything from bottles, beer cans and cardboard. Of course most of this comes from our weekly binges but we feel we are doing our bit. The recycling bank used to be a lot closer. I would load a couple of bags-for-life with an array of bottles from Kopperberg to Buckfast, and feel the weight of the world on my shoulders as I hoisted them down to the bank behind B&Q.

This is where I imagined meeting the love of my life - at the bottle bank as I discarded the shame of the lonely into the appropriate bin. I rarely saw anyone. Once there was a guy putting cardboard onto a trolley – but this wasn’t for me. He was a cardboard type of guy, while I was a bottle. As a bottle of Buckfast slid from my hand into the green section I looked and thought “See you, I could have had you.” Bottled.

I bottled it.

Now that the bottle bank is much further, my flatmate Nachy drives the bottles in his van. My time had come and passed. At present our recycling cupboard is beginning to look like Britain’s shameful and useless plutonium stockpiles. I’m no nuclear scientist but even I know plutonium is useless… except maybe to terrorists.

http://www.nature.com/news/why-has-britain-done-a-u-turn-on-plutonium-1.9546